Cheerful Givers

Have you ever been the recipient of someone’s selfless and sacrificial act? It is such a humbling experience to realize another person had enough compassion, and cared enough about you, to give beyond their comfort zone. And, unlike celebrities who often give only out of their abundance, and make sure they get good press coverage, it is inspiring to witness the positive aspects of humanity without an agenda.

Don and Ellen Courtney, are a prime example of a Christian couple that follows God’s Word to be cheerful givers: even with sacrificial giving. Generally speaking, sacrificial giving is giving until it hurts. But they are not gullible. Don is an ex-police chief, a graduate of the FBI academy, and a top administrator on the Warm Springs Reservation and Ellen works in the school system. Therefore, while they are willing to make sacrifices, and do so faithfully, they will only respond in accordance to God’s Word and will.

I, too, am a firm believer in God’s Word. And, while God clearly does not like puffed-up personal pride, arrogance, and self-boasting, He does want praiseworthy actions to be held-up as positive examples for living.

                        Let another man praise thee, and not thine own mouth; a stranger,

                        and not thine own lips.

                                                                                                Proverbs 27: 2

Don and Ellen are the first to admit their faults. Like all of us, they are not perfect. But I have known them over a dozen years, and I can easily say that they belong to a rare group of individuals who honestly strive to live daily according to their faith and beliefs.

I am in the midst of a second chance at life: a chance that was nearly cut short on more than one occasion. If not for a sacrificial act by Don and Ellen, one that I know hindered their family situation at times, I would, at the very least, be homeless: and perhaps worse. And I do not make that claim lightly – and it’s not an exaggeration.

I am a partially disabled vet in my fifties. And when the economy went belly-up I lost my job (and eventually my savings) on the same day my soul-mate lost her courageous seven-year battle with cancer. And, as most of us learned from the news, the handful of jobs remaining – especially in rural communities where I live – were continually given to the younger adults. My unemployment benefits ran out and the only feasible option was to return to school. Then, near the time I acquired my associate degree and transferred to OSU, my vehicle gave up the proverbial ghost. And a vehicle is a necessity when you live an hour from campus.

To make a long story short, Don and Ellen gave up one of their vehicles at a time when they knew I could not afford one. They knew it would be a long-term situation, and that it would create additional burdens for themselves. But they never hesitated. Within a few hours after I told them about my vehicle situation and asked them for prayer, they knocked on my door and handed me the keys.

It took nearly two years before I was able to write them a check. And even then they refused the full amount I wanted to pay. And not once during that period did they ever bring up the topic to me. They believe that when God urges them to do something they simply do it and let God take care of the details in His time. It is a belief that I have repeatedly seen them adhere to, and one that I aspire to.

I will always feel blessed for God bringing them into my life. Thank you, God. And thank you, Don and Ellen. You are a living example to all who know you, and a witness to those who don’t. 

Dad let go and let God

My patriarchal grandmother was pregnant about the time of the Wall Street crash in ’29 that ushered in the Great Depression. It was not a good time to bring children into the world, which is why my dad had a nine, thirteen and sixteen-year head-start on his siblings. It was a generation cemented with family tradition and personal responsibility. And it was a time when children often worked long hours in factories or fields (when work could be found) to help feed the family. And, if the Great Depression wasn’t enough of an example to emphasize the need for hard work and commitment to provide for your family, my grandfather drilled into my dad lessons he learned the hard way. My grandfather became the sole provider for his three siblings at the age of eleven. They were in Wales during WWI, and when his father was lost in the war his mother abandoned the children. She tramped from guy-to-guy and never saw her offspring again.

Needless to say, by the time Dad married and my older brother and I made our appearance into this world, providing for your family was synonymous with manhood in the mind of my father. But life is unpredictable. And even the hardest workers get laid-off when the economy sours, too many accounts are lost, or the business goes bankrupt. And Dad found himself unemployed for the first time in his adult life. Jobs became scarce, and the longer it lasted the more it chipped away at Dad’s emotional state. In his eyes he was failing to be a man. He was failing to provide for his family. And when the cupboards were bare, and my brother and I (toddlers at the time) cried with empty stomachs, Dad decided to take matters into his own hands and get money for food by any means necessary.

I was too young at the time to have clear memories of what happened next. But it became a family story that was repeated so often no one could forget. My parents argued over the dire situation and, eventually, Dad went off by himself to brood. When he returned there was a purpose in his step. He marched straight to his room, disappeared for about a minute, and came back out carrying a rifle. He had pawned several guns already. This was his last. But my mother took one look at my dad and knew he wasn’t heading to any pawn shop.

She tried to stop him, but the effort was futile. She considered calling the police, but decided against it. Dad was a veteran of the Korean War. Mom figured that if he was confronted by armed officers it would only inflame the situation. So she called family; none of which were close enough to immediately assist, but they all agreed to pray.

Dad recalled driving, but not where he went or how long it took until he parked outside a grocery store. From the moment he left home until realizing he was in the parking lot he had vented at God. At some point during the angry tirade Dad came to the conclusion that if God felt no obligation to fulfill His promises as a heavenly father, than he no longer felt obligated to walk a godly path. He told God, “You’re strong enough to watch your son die on a cross; but I’m not you, and I cannot watch my children suffer another day with no food for their bellies.” And he reached for his rifle – only to realize he could no longer move. His limbs refused every mental command. He was paralyzed. He tried to fight it, but it was useless. Yet in the midst of the mental turmoil he remembers one clear thought, losing their father will bring more suffering than empty stomachs. And all internal fighting ceased. He surrendered. And he cried – and cried some more.

Dad let go of everything that night. For the first time in his life he admitted he could not do everything, and he gave it all to God. And immediately following his surrender to God the paralysis disappeared. He drove home, and upon his arrival he discovered strangers had delivered several bags of groceries during his absence. And two days later he was offered a job: a job that would last thirty-years.    

A House Divided

A new church member continually dwells on a perpetual stream of negatives bombarding his household. He lives with his wife and son, along with her adult son from a previous marriage, and his aging and ailing mother.

He constantly requests prayer for the extensive list of negatives plaguing his household, yet appears defeated while asking. He also wonders why he cannot find “victory in Jesus” and the “joy that passes understanding” he hears others talk about.

However, when others (myself included) tell him to spend time in introspection along with asking God to reveal any lessons needing to be learned or any obstacles that are hindering the household from experiencing the joy of Christ and His blessings, he immediately becomes defensive. And the defensive attitude always surrounds the issue of Islam.

His wife and step-son, though not members of any mosque, choose to read the Quran: at the urging of the son. Their youngest son attends church with his father. And the elderly mother apparently keeps clear of both sides.

It is true that God allows each of us to go through trials. Trials strengthen the faith of those who endure and trust God to see them through. However, not all trials we face in life are God-ordained. Many trials are self-inflicted: the consequence of personal choices.

Therefore, there comes a time during periods of spiritual drought (a time of prolonged trials and lack of blessings) when individuals need to reconsider personal choices. Pray for guidance and discernment. Compare decisions and actions with God’s Word. Keep an open mind and spirit in order to accept His divine answers. And be strong enough to accept responsibility for choices and actions.

When the church member immediately gets defensive about a specific topic – especially prior to that topic being brought up by anyone – it is a clear sign that he is already aware and concerned about the issue. The unction of the Holy Spirit is doing a work in him, and he’s probably already giving the topic a lot of thought.

Unfortunately, we humans often prolong our trials by our reluctance to confront problematic issues beyond thought: especially when action may be needed. For instance, people with addictive personalities have a hard time confronting their addictions because they believe the addiction (alcohol, drugs, etc) fills a void within them.

The church member is well-aware of the problems that can arise when diverse belief systems reside within a family confined to a single-dwelling. And what makes it worse is that the beliefs are not compatible or equally tolerant. Unlike beliefs such as Christianity and Judaism, which worship the same God and have similar core values, Islam specifically calls for the subjugation and/or death of infidels (anyone who does not accept 

Islam).

The Quran states the following in Sura (or chapter) 9, verse 29, regarding war against non-Muslims:

“Fight against those who (1) believe not in Allah, (2) nor in the Last Day, (3) nor forbid that which has been forbidden by Allah and His Messenger, (4) and those who acknowledge not the religion of truth (i.e., Islam) among the people of the Scripture (Jews and Christians), until they pay the Jizyah with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued.”

Sura 47, verse 4 begins with the following:

“So when you meet (in fight Jihad in Allah’s Cause), those who disbelieve smite at their necks till when you have killed and wounded many of them, then bind a bond firmly (on them, i.e., take them as captives).”

Naturally, God is well-aware of the complications that can arise in households with diverse beliefs. In 2 Corinthians 6:14 the Bible states the following:

“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? And what communion has light with darkness?”

As you can see Jehovah is not a vindictive God. He is a loving God. He knows human nature will bring about conflict when those with diametrically opposed views reside in close proximity, but He does not tell the Believer to kill or enslave the Unbeliever, as we see in the Quran. The Bible simply gives a stern warning as a caution to believers and non-believers that such incompatibility is a recipe for problems, and should be given due consideration.

In Luke 11:17 we see another confirmation from a different perspective:

“But he, knowing their thoughts, said unto them, Every Kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and a house divided against a house falls.”

Do the above passages suggest Christians separate or divorce spouses with different beliefs? No, they do not. They are warnings to consider primarily before entering long-term relationships and marriage. However, if the different beliefs are accepted after a couple joins, God would prefer the union remains intact; unless, of course, appropriate reasons for divorce (adultery, abuse, etc) are involved. For God knows that the believing mate can have a positive influence on the other mate, and every soul is worth saving, if possible.

In 1 Corinthians 7:14 we see the following:

“For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean: but now are they holy.”

And God shows His desire to save as many unbelievers as He can throughout the Bible; such as 2 Peter 3:9:

“The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is long-suffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.”

In God’s eyes, the new church member is the spiritual head of the house. It is his responsibility to engage in spiritual warfare (fasting and prayer, etc), and to take further action if necessary, in order to allow God to confront the obstacles within the household. Unfortunately, his present defensive attitude creates additional obstacles and barriers that hinder God’s plan and blessings for their lives.

Have you built barriers that hinder God’s efforts on your behalf? Are there areas in your life where you get overly defensive with little or no provocation? If so, perhaps it’s time to acknowledge God’s efforts to get your attention regarding those issues. Remember, even God’s worst is better than our best. But He desires the best for each of us.        

Beat Cancer

Here is a big shout out to Trisha Melvin. Congratulations for beating cancer for the second time! Hooray!

Unfortunately, she is now hampered with a broken ankle, while trying to take care of two step-daughters.

My prayers go with you, and if you and that guitar man of yours need anything let me know.